I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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