spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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