Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
