If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
