dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
