he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
