Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
