I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I supernannyed him into submission
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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