This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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