i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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