You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
