On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
