You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
