The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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