You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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