I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
where are my eyebrows?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
