i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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