You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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