if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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