oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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