I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
