he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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