Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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