his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
false alarm, still single
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
