So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
