I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
