remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize