So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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