At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
