i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
