did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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