we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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