I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
