Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you win again, gameday.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
