Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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