marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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