i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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