You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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