it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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