so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
