Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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