Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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