i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
