margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
