It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
