Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize