I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
