Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
