i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
