i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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