Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
