she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
