Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize