What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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