Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
