im gay
i know
yea but for you.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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