dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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