I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
