i wish starbucks made bloody marys
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
