My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
