Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
