yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She's the barista slut.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
