K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
