her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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