Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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