Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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