she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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